Friday, December 3, 2010

One Year Older and Wiser Too

Wednesday was my big 31st birthday!

Last year I did not want to turn 30 at all. It's not an old age by any means but I was sad about not being in my 20's any more. I think I've mourned that completely and I'm now in it to win it. Let's do this, 30's!

Anyway, I had a way great birthday. Dale surprised me by taking the day off, getting a babysitter, and telling me we are going shopping all day for things I want. Just him and I.

So shopping all day we went but I ended up getting mostly things for the kids. I wanted some new items to add to my maternity wardrobe but trying on clothes when you are 7 months pregnant is not good for morale. I decided I didn't need my bubble burst on my birthday so I stopped looking for clothes and just had a nice time with Dale.

We spent several hours together with out being interrupted or having to talk over kid chatter and that is a wonderful gift in and of itself.

Dale did however, surprise me with this little number:

I had noticed it in a store called Contagious on Main Street in Mesa. Dale hunted it down and triumphantly gave it to me on the morning of my birthday.

"One Year Older And Wiser Too" is a line in a happy birthday song that the kids sing in church primary. I was thinking about this song the other day and I decided that yes, I do feel wiser over this one year.

One thing is I've gotten better about not setting unobtainable and unrealistic standards for myself.

Women can be their own worst critics and I'm trying not to feel guilty about the times when I don't meet the expectations I've imagined other people are holding me to.

I know you all don't really care if my house is clean, if my clothes are perfect, if my home decor is just so. These are all things that a lot of women have assumed that others expect them to be doing.

So guess what? Sometimes a take a nap on the couch in my messy house while my kids zone out on TV. Sometimes I run errands in my sweats. Sometimes I give up on dinner and get fast food. Sometimes my kids have messy hair. Sometimes my loft is absolutely covered in laundry for days. Sometimes I go out with no makeup. And I bet most other moms do a lot of these things too.

But for some reason I have trained myself to feel guilty about all that. In my mind I think I should be vacuuming in heels and pearls while a roast is in the oven because I've imagined that's what everyone else thinks I'm doing.

Am I still sometimes worried about what others think of me and my house and my kids and my clothes and my bank account and my car and my personality and my talents? Yes. But I'm getting better about reminding myself that as long as I'm doing my best it's okay and I can let go of these silly standards that I've created for myself.

Seriously, life is much easier and funner when I think like this.

So here's to the 30's. Not as young as the 20's but just as awesome.


Sean & Julia Johnson.... said...

I think I could copy & paste that post :) Happy (late) birthday!! Seriously... we are our own worst critics.. but we are all amazing women :) Here's to another good year!!

Brooke Romney said...

Happy birthday cute girl. GReat necklace and birthday day...3 cheers for Dale. And, I loved your post...perfect is so over rated!

Five Silly Switzer's said...

Amen sista!! I couldn't agree more. Happy Birthday! Glad it was a good one. Dale surely earned some brownie points.

Kari said...

Happy Birthday Alys! Glad you & Dale had a good time together. Don't you just savor those quiet moments together? I just wanted you to know that every item you said you do as a mom, I do them too. Many people see my shopping in my PJs with no make-up and I've been known to not clean up anything or make a bed until 7pm at night. :) You are wonderful, you're doing a great job! Here's to the 30s!

johnsonteammom said...

Your Dale is quite the man. I can totally relate to your post except this year I will change it to the 40's. It is gonna rock.

McDougal Family said...

Sounds like you had a fantastic birthday! And I just wanted to say "thank you" for this post! It is just what I needed to hear. I've been so stressed out and overwhelmed lately trying to be that person that I feel everyone thinks I should be. I needed a reminder that it's okay to just chill out sometimes, take it easy, and not worry about what everyone else is thinking. (odds are they aren't thinking anything anyway!) Thanks for the reminder!