Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Don't "Mess" With The Best

I will start by saying I love my darling Ella. She is funny, happy, cute, and squishy. All of those awesome things. But today was one of those days.... You know the kind. Every time you turn around, a new disaster has been created courtesy of your lovely child.

All children are born with personality traits that make them special from their brothers and sisters. Tabby is very friendly, Rex is very thoughtful. I would have to say what sets Ella apart from the others is her uncanny ability to wreck and destroy anything you hold dear in half a second while you aren't looking. She plans these things ahead of time and knows when to attack.

Let me tell you about the messes I have cleaned up just today. Pineapple juice all over the kitchen floor (mopped 3 times and is still sticky.) Cottage cheese smashed in the carpet. Spaghetti with a particularly runny sauce dumped on the carpet. A box I had full of stuff to go to DI completely emptied and strewn about the room. Toothpaste all over the bathroom. A big trash bag full of paper shred mistaken for confetti and thrown all over the office. And the kicker, I made a darling Valentine's match book craft recently and she got a hold of them (they were on top of the fridge) and ripped one up. BTW, Kim if you are reading this, do you happen to have an extra match box?

You may be thinking "Why don't you just keep an eye on your darn kid, lady?" I do keep an eye on her. I'm able to catch her in the act lots of times. But like I said, the girl knows when to strike. Her best work has happened while I am in the office doing my job that I do from home. I can't be interrupted while I'm on the phone and she takes advantage of that, let me tell you.

I try to keep things picked up, put away and out of reach. But the girl is stealth and I swear she has G0-Go Gadget arms. Many times I have gone into the kitchen to see something that was up high pilfered and destroyed or if it's candy, gone with out a trace. How in the heck does she get up there? She will find a way I tell you. I told you a while back when she ruined my lipstick how I decided to move the kitchen chairs to the carpet so she can't push them over to the counters. That worked for a little while but then Tabby got a vanity for Christmas that has a little stool with it. That stool has become her partner in crime. Now poor Tabby will have to suffer because the stool has been taken away.

I've tried all possible disciplinary options short of letting her go live with the feral raccoons in the forest. She'd probably fit right in there.

I love my darling sweetie. I love her fat cheeks and the funny things she says. I love how she's sleepy and cuddly in the morning and wants to cuddle with her blanky. If she went to live with the raccoons, I'd miss her. I just hope this is a phase.... Please let it be a phase!!!

***Update*** While I was leaving the office, I heard Dale yell "Ella!" Apparently with two adults in the house she still found a moment alone to dump the entire pitcher of Crystal Light that Dale had just made out onto the floor. I think I'll hide in the office and pretend I didn't hear what's going on. I'm over cleaning up messes for today.


JacksonFamily said...

When Vonessa pees on the carpet I rub her nose in it and swat her with a rolled up newspaper... maybe it works on kids too.

Kim Skinner said...

good luck with that one. I do have an extra matchbox though.

Morris Fam said...

I love the fact that I can even chuckle. Only because I have been through it FIVE times and can say that at least for me, it was a phase. Over all to quickly. I have always worked from home to so I know what you mean about how they take advantage as soon as the computer is turned on. I just want to thank you because I was feeling really sad today cause my babies are so OLD! But I don't think I would want to trade right now so Thanks! Breaks do help though so bring them over sometime and have an occasional disaster free day!

I love you sis.!

Chad~Nicole said...

Is it bad that I laughed out loud at the racoons part? Someday Ella will have an Ella of her own and you can look back and chuckle at this whole phase.

Julie said...

Yikes! Sounds like an exhausting day, especially while you're pregnant. The up-side though: you are moving and can leave behind all of the carpet stains...or will that just be a fresh canvas to her?

Brenay Family said...

Your blogs make me laugh! Maybe I shouldn't say this, but I thought I was having a rough day until I read this! I'm sorry for your day! But, I'm glad you can see the humor in it.

Heather and Brad said...

Oh my gosh!! I'll pray for your sanity and her safety (from you and Dale that is).

johnsonteammom said...

I had a kid like that, we named him Skylar, he grew out of it. The important thing is that we keep perspective on this - what kind of great job could she use her skills in when she grows up? A mom, for sure, police woman, circus performer, Guiness Book of World Record holders, reality t.v., the list goes on and on.

Magi said...

For your housewarming gift I will get you an iron padlock/heavy chains to keep the fridge closed, also matching key necklaces for you and Dale.

Jamie and Heather Darger said...

Oh my gosh....I have had it easy in the past! PLEASE dont put the curse on this other one I have, I dont know if I could do it. Thankfully Ella is a doll for sure.

Tim and Shay said...

Oh man! I've had days like that. We called him "Houdini" But it has been a long time since then! What am I doing having another one!?!? Find "Joy in the Journey" it will pass!

Lil Beck said...

Well....I hate to be the bearer of bad news.....but my talented, darling, yet precocious Leah has never grown out of it.

She does "experiments" and projects all over the house, and they usually involve some items of mine that are precious to me. Very often she chooses my BED as her workspace. And if I EVER mention that something should NOT be touched? That is PRECISELY what she will wreck.

It's almost like she cannot resist junking things up. I have actually considered asking Dr. Phil about this. But he would probably say I just don't give her enough attention. I'm here to say, I can't possibly give MORE attention!! There is just not enough of mom to go around.

So if you read a book, or get any good advice, PLEASE pass it on.

***Hey! Maybe I will ask Leah what she would do if she had a little button like Ella.....we can use the insider information. I'll get back to you on this!