Don't "Mess" With The Best

I will start by saying I love my darling Ella. She is funny, happy, cute, and squishy. All of those awesome things. But today was one of those days.... You know the kind. Every time you turn around, a new disaster has been created courtesy of your lovely child.

All children are born with personality traits that make them special from their brothers and sisters. Tabby is very friendly, Rex is very thoughtful. I would have to say what sets Ella apart from the others is her uncanny ability to wreck and destroy anything you hold dear in half a second while you aren't looking. She plans these things ahead of time and knows when to attack.

Let me tell you about the messes I have cleaned up just today. Pineapple juice all over the kitchen floor (mopped 3 times and is still sticky.) Cottage cheese smashed in the carpet. Spaghetti with a particularly runny sauce dumped on the carpet. A box I had full of stuff to go to DI completely emptied and strewn about the room. Toothpaste all over the bathroom. A big trash bag full of paper shred mistaken for confetti and thrown all over the office. And the kicker, I made a darling Valentine's match book craft recently and she got a hold of them (they were on top of the fridge) and ripped one up. BTW, Kim if you are reading this, do you happen to have an extra match box?

You may be thinking "Why don't you just keep an eye on your darn kid, lady?" I do keep an eye on her. I'm able to catch her in the act lots of times. But like I said, the girl knows when to strike. Her best work has happened while I am in the office doing my job that I do from home. I can't be interrupted while I'm on the phone and she takes advantage of that, let me tell you.

I try to keep things picked up, put away and out of reach. But the girl is stealth and I swear she has G0-Go Gadget arms. Many times I have gone into the kitchen to see something that was up high pilfered and destroyed or if it's candy, gone with out a trace. How in the heck does she get up there? She will find a way I tell you. I told you a while back when she ruined my lipstick how I decided to move the kitchen chairs to the carpet so she can't push them over to the counters. That worked for a little while but then Tabby got a vanity for Christmas that has a little stool with it. That stool has become her partner in crime. Now poor Tabby will have to suffer because the stool has been taken away.

I've tried all possible disciplinary options short of letting her go live with the feral raccoons in the forest. She'd probably fit right in there.

I love my darling sweetie. I love her fat cheeks and the funny things she says. I love how she's sleepy and cuddly in the morning and wants to cuddle with her blanky. If she went to live with the raccoons, I'd miss her. I just hope this is a phase.... Please let it be a phase!!!

***Update*** While I was leaving the office, I heard Dale yell "Ella!" Apparently with two adults in the house she still found a moment alone to dump the entire pitcher of Crystal Light that Dale had just made out onto the floor. I think I'll hide in the office and pretend I didn't hear what's going on. I'm over cleaning up messes for today.